


Can I?

by love_in_the_stars



Category: The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Crack, M/M, Please Don't Ask, Pure Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-09
Updated: 2012-05-09
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_in_the_stars/pseuds/love_in_the_stars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why the hell they were letting this guy hang around was something Tony hadn't yet figured out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I?

**Author's Note:**

> [Based off this work of fanart.](http://rawbiredbest.tumblr.com/post/22725343581)
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> Other then that, I have no excuses.

Why the hell they were letting this guy hang around was something Tony hadn't yet figured out. Although why he'd been the one elected to keep an eye on him was fairly obvious given Deadpool's reaction to the tech in his lab. Seeing his immediate awe was the only thing that soothed Tony's ire at being reduced to a freaking babysitter. He was a busy man, okay, he had things to do that did not involve watching over an overgrown child with possible sanity issues just because no one had decided yet if he was a threat or not.  
  
Hell, Deadpool didn’t even seem to know if he wanted to be hero or villain so how the hell were they supposed to figure it out?  
  
That wasn’t Tony’s problem though, nope, he was not a genius in that field therefore not his responsibility. All he had to do was make sure the guy stayed alive and as harmless as possible.  
  
Given that Deadpool seemed utterly content to wander about the lab for the time being, Tony allowed himself to relax marginally and pulled out an older version of his suit to tinker with. The crazy guy puttered around him for a few minutes looking at the armor and babbling words that not even Tony could follow before wandering off again and Tony set to work.  
  
Within an hour’s time he was pretty involved and starting to get more distracted so he paused a moment to shed his coat and dress shirt for the comfort of working in a faded muscle shirt instead. After a few minutes Tony became aware of Deadpool standing much too close when he tried to move around the worktable and instead walked into the other man.  
  
The man was masked so it was difficult to tell any facial expression but Tony could always recognize when someone was staring at his reactor. Sure enough, Deadpool leaned closer and Tony backed up a few steps, nowhere near comfortable with letting this guy get too close to him. In fact, he should probably have backup right about now, should have had some from the start actually, incase Deadpool went villain on him.  
  
Hand slipping into a pocket discreetly, Tony pressed a few buttons on his phone and warily eyed Deadpool. “What?”  
  
“Can I see it?” The guy asked, at least he was keeping mostly to himself, hands wise.  
  
“No. No, you cannot.”  
  
Deadpool nodded but didn’t move away. “Can I touch it?” He asked, trying again as he even reached out a finger but Tony jerked away, slapping a hand protectively over the reactor.  
  
“Hell no! Not a fucking chance man. If I said you couldn’t look at it why in the hell would I let you touch it?” Tony scowled and glared at the idiot for good measure but again, Deadpool didn’t seem too affected, offended or otherwise.  
  
“Can I lick it?”  
  
 _What?!_  
  
“Oh my god, no! No, you cannot lick anything, Jesus fuck. What is wrong with you!” He stuttered, taking another step back as this maniac stared fixedly at his chest. “What the hell?”  
  
 _Anytime now, Steve._  
  
The door to his workshop slid open just as Deadpool tilted his head and said, “Can I fuck it?”  
  
Tony was almost certain he heard wrong, no, he was positive he heard wrong. Only there was a choked noise from the doorway and then Steve, a wall of muscle and American colors, was shoving himself between Tony and Deadpool.  
  
“What is going on here?” Steve demanded just as Tony realized that, yes, that crazy fucker  did just say that.  
  
“I honestly don’t even know but it’s very disturbing and I’d like him gone now, please and thank you.”  
  
“Awww, c’mon, man! I at least want to see it! Looks like it’d be sexy.” Deadpool protested, a definite leer at the tail end there.  
  
Steve got that really fierce and determined look before he none too gently grabbed Deadpool by the back of the neck and began hauling him toward the door, ignoring his squawks of indignation and pouting. “I’ll be right back, Tony.”  
  
Tony nodded and blinked at the door once it hissed closed again and they were gone. “Seriously, what the fuck just happened? I think I need a shower.” He didn’t move though, just waited exactly where he was until Steve returned, looking even more disturbed then when he left.  
  
“I think that boy has a good deal of problems.” Steve said dully and Tony snorted.  
  
“You think maybe? Honestly, that was highly disturbing.”  
  
Steve nodded, seemed to shake himself back to attention and looked at Tony worriedly, approaching him carefully. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, he never touched me. I want a shower anyway, though, care to join me?” Tony offered, feeling a bit more on his own stride again as he winked at Steve.  
  
The blond blushed slightly before nodding and Tony grinned, grabbing hold of Steve’s hand and dragging him to the workshop’s shower stall. “C’mon then big guy, we have wall sex in the shower to cross off our list.”


End file.
